Anniversary, sorta

I realized this morning that I passed the year mark of this blog and didn't even bat an eye. To those of you that have followed along, back when my hits were around five a day, thank you. You rock my world and I don't know why you entertain me and this silly notion of a blog but thank you.

There are a lot of really great bloggers out there who are able to document their life in this beautifully poetic way. They share their innermost thoughts and feelings and their blog is sort of like their diary, I suppose. I imagine they have massive followings, based on all of the advertisements and giveaways they have but regardless, I really enjoy reading them. I can connect in a lot of ways as most of them are mamas too. 

I've been wanting to put down my thoughts about motherhood and some of my struggles lately but I always stop short. I guess I'm really not comfortable with laying it all out there and letting myself be judged. Because we all know thats inevitable. Or maybe I think I'd feel silly? I don't know really why. I am an emotional person, just like anyone else but broadcasting it every day seems like a bit much. 

I sometimes question my ability to show emotions in my every day life too. I think I am really good at keeping my composure and being strong for other people. But at the same time, I'm just not very good at communicating anything. Those of you that know me really well are probably laughing. Maybe it just depends on who I'm sharing with?`

So I can't promise that I'm going to be all emotional and poetic and insightful on here all the time, or ever for that matter. That's just not me. But I thought with a year passing, maybe I should open up a bit more. I fill this space with ridiculous stories and food and music but maybe it would be helpful to all of you to know that I am dealing with all of the same hard stuff you probably are too. I regularly doubt whether I am a good mom and friend and partner and all that other crap but I think there is strength in numbers.

All of that to say, I hope to continue blogging and I hope that you all will stick around.

Thank you thank you thank you.