Family of Quack Heads

The King woke up at 6am today, full of piss and vinegar. Apparently we're a family of morning people. It is what it is. What this really means is that I had a ton of time to get ready this morning, even with him, literally, strapped to my hip. You'd think I would look nice but I don't. I'm ok with that too. Well anyway, with all that extra time, I was able to enjoy a little morning "adventure". It's probably going to bore the shit out of you but I don't care. I'm too excited.

Luckily, Meg was staying with us and she pointed out the gorgeous sunrise. Always looking for a photo op, I grabbed my trusty iPhone that never has service and headed out to the back porch, in my bare feet, to snap this pic.

I should mention it's cold, really cold but I continued to snap a few pics because I'm no photographer and it takes me five tries to get a good shot. Well wouldn't you know it, all of a sudden, I heard the marvelous echo of ducks coming from the back right corn field behind our property. I know there is a pond back there because Matt has already run laps around the house while telling me how excited he is about it. We always hear geese and creepy ass crows but I've never heard the ducks until today.

Being the good woman that I am, I immediately took a video to send to Matt. I do this a lot because he's out of town and I secretly kind of like to do it. Listen closely and you can hear them.

He clearly didn't respond to my video fast enough so I called him up to see if they were real or if there was a hunter back there. He confirmed my suspicion that they were and also, that there were a bunch. I don't know what came over me but I excitedly told him I'd go and see how many there were. According to Matt, the pond is right behind our property. I had about 15 minutes to spare so I threw on my boots and headed out back. If you haven't picked this up already, I'm an idiot. I was in all of my work clothes and a nice jacket; now stomping around in the creek and mud and corn to get a look at ducks. That's right. Ducks.

Long story, not really short, I couldn't make it back to the pond in time because it was like 200 yards away. Not even close to the house. I also didn't want to be shot by a hunter, not that I look like a deer, or a duck, in my purple jacket. Let me tell you what though, those little quackers were back there and I could tell there were a lot of them.  

Ladies and gentlemen, I officially had my first duck erection. 

Matt has learned me reaaaaal, reallllll good. His quack habit has officially rubbed off on me. I now find myself pulling over on the side of the road to listen to geese, take videos of them flying around and now, I'm "scouting" potential honey spots. I don't even hunt! And you'll be shocked to know this but I don't have a penis either...ha!

The poor King doesn't have a chance. He's totally going to be a quack head too. His room is already camo and duck'ed out. We even have professional pictures of him with Matt's decoys...

Anywho...you can bet your sweet ass that I'm heading over to that farmers house with The King to get Matt permission to hunt. I already have the perfect story lined up for why he should let him go back there. I can sell ice to eskimos so this should be a piece of cake. I'll keep you posted on my progress.