Rural Mama Adventures: Monday

Yo peeps

I have a weekend hangover today.

And not a real hangover, just the kind where you had such a busy, insane, exhausting weekend you need another two days to recover.

As I eluded to in my post on Friday, Ole Kingy and I kicked off V-day with heart shaped cookies for breakfast. It was all fun and games until I put on my Northface to walk our the door and found that one of the dogs had chewed part of my zipper off.

That's so special, isn't it?

Follow that up with the Devil, aka Grace, escaping the kennel six times that afternoon.

Upon further inspection of her charades, I found that she had killed and subsequently eaten the heart out of my favorite pet rabbit and kept escaping to finish eating/pick off the second one.

Talk about being pissed off.

Kingy and I had a special Valentine's dinner date and some shopping at Target that night. He also has started calling me "Mama" and I don't even know what to do with myself it's so damn cute.

I love him.

Saturday morning/afternoon was ok. We decided to give potty training a go since Ole Kingy is wise and old and according to every online quiz I took "was ready". We had about a 20% success rate on Day 1. Not too shabby.

That night I went to the casino to see Hootie, I mean Darius Rucker and let me tell you what, it was by far the most aaaaa-mazing show I have ever seen in my entire show seeing life. I mean, it was just awesome. Not to mention, I won $175 on that spinning/wheel roulette game with PB's money and instruction. $175!!

I don't gamble so I had no clue what I was doing but it was fun. I don't understand how people can be addicted to it though. Take the money and run!

Also, BBQ for dinner. Need I say more?

Sunday was pretty much hell on Earth considering I got about four hours of solid sleep, we were still potty-training and life needed to be done.

Let me just say that potty training is unbelievably frustrating and gross. I tried every single trick in the book and it was going better than the day before until we hit the afternoon. That's when Kingy started to projectile vomit all over the kitchen and then subsequently me.

As you can imagine, out goes said potty training and in comes showers, cuddles, crackers and juice.

Shit your pants buddy. We'll try again in a month.

The dogs then proceeded to terrorize me some more by puking everywhere, running away and peeing on the floor.

Did I mention they are for sale? And by sale, I mean I will pay you to take them.

I am apparently a firm believer in giving people/dogs 300 chances to prove me wrong but I'm running low on patience and chances.

Needless to say, after all of that, I went to be at 7:30 last night.

The End.