Hi.
I'm sorry again.
I lied yesterday.
I didn't post but I had every intention of doing so. I had something else come up last minute (you know who you are) and that was just more important.
But I think it's important to note that I'm blogging today.
So.
Here's my excuse or rather, my reason for being away. I'm sharing because I had an epiphany and I feel good about the direction of my life again. And maybe it will help you. But maybe it won't.
I don't care.
(deep breath, with head hung in shame)
I was absent because I was on a serious bender of pouting, complaining and feeling sorry for myself. Why, you ask, was I such a terrible brat? Without going into too many details, it was all work related and I was feeling a bit screwed over and really under-appreciated. And disappointed.
Very disappointed.
Thank you to those of you that dealt with me and I'm sorry for being so rotten.
This went on for a few days last week, coupled with a long day trip to Boston which seemed to make things worse. And I also partly blame the frigid weather.
After three days of miserableness, tears and lack of sleep, I woke up on Friday, bitched some more and then it hit me like a ton of bricks; I needed an attitude adjustment. I wasn't at work, I was at home with my awesome son, still pouting and now fighting with Papa Bear because of said brattiness. Neither of them did a thing to deserve my attitude and it wasn't fair that I was bringing home stuff that didn't belong in my house.
You know what I mean?
And I decided right there, enough was enough. I can't change it. I may as well accept it for what it is and make the most of the situation because at the end of the day, everything outside of work is pretty darn awesome. I literally have nothing else to complain about.
Except maybe...
Just kidding.
SO I made myself an afternoon cuppa joe in a wicked awesome mug. Chatted with my favorite ginger, who is always willing to listen to me bitch and moan. Apologized. Had a lunch dance party with Ry. Baked a huge, huge heart shaped sugar cookie, that I now regret baking for obvious reasons. Apologized. Snuggled and cuddled The King. Drank some wine. Apologized some more. Pulled out a sewing machine and made my first pair of baby leggings. Went to bed and woke up Saturday a new woman.
And here I am. Happy as a clam.
That rhymed. Ha!
Then I decided to write a little vision statement to keep myself grounded and remind me of what's important. Someone suggested I do it a while ago and I brushed it off because why would that help me? It's soooo stupid right?
Wrong.
Had I written the vision statement and read it a few times while I was pissed off, maybe none of this stupid work stuff would have made a bit of difference. I know that seems silly because everything I love is right in front of me but it really seemed to help me. Weird as it is, something about putting it on paper makes it that much clearer.
And I want to share part of it you. The whole thing is kind of long but this is my favorite part, that I read every single day now...
"First and foremost, I am a mother, spouse, sister, daughter and friend. Work does not define who I am as a person. I need to let go of things I cannot control, stop being a perfectionist and remember to trust that everything happens for a reason."
It's so cliche and really very simple but it's so, so true to me. My most important job now is raising The King. My title or responsibility at work mean nothing if he turns out to be an asshole that does nothing to contribute to society. Second to raising a good human, I have to take better care of my relationships, before the rest.
Yes, I realize this is a stupid self help, discovery, bullshit nonsense post but whatever. Judge if you want but I bet you're thinking about your vision now too!
Aren't ya?
I am totally aware that this is going to be a challenge every single day but I think it's an awesome one.
Don't hesitate to let me know when I'm being an asshole either. I'm only human afterall.
xoxo
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